I received a series of emails today that I thought it might help other people out... The first email simply had one line in it... (the "+++" will indicate the end of the email and the start of the next)...
"CAN YOU HEAL ME?"
"As far as healing goes, anything is possible... YOU are the main healer, I'm just there to help you along the journey. What sort of healing do you think you need?"
"Ah... what happened???? This is one of the MOST IMPORTANT things that can happen in one's life... don't pass it off lightly. There is much to learn about yourself and your relationship with others when you experience such pain. Allow yourself to feel your feelings and recognize them, not as anger, loss, depression etc. but for what it truly is... LOVE. You see... In LOVE there must be sacrifice. What you are feeling is making you a better Lover, and better person... your capacity for LOVE is GROWING... these are simply Growing Pains that you are having. As you move forward, you will hopefully begin to see with new eyes and carry that LOVE and these new dimensions of self into ALL of your relationships... we will all be better for you having experienced this for us! Don't be afraid, ONLY GOODNESS is coming I assure you!!! : ) "
"I suppose there is still alot that I don't know or understand. And if these really are growing pains, how do I start change how I feel about my feelings"
"Don't judge your feelings... right now you're thinking they are bad. They are are simply tools to help you learn about yourself... they are not bad. With each episode of pain you are being streched, Streched, STRETCHED as a human, to make MORE ROOM for LOVE, HAPPINESS and JOY. Without the pain, you will simply stay at the same capacity you were at. NOW, as you're experiencing the "growing pains" you now have a MUCH LARGER capacity to be filled with LOVE, HAPPINESS and JOY. (Yes... unfortunately, your capacity for pain is larger too, but it just seems more intense because your vessel is bigger and you feel more alone. You are NOT more alone, you are just as alone as before, just have a bigger capacity.)"
A few years ago I wrote this to a friend who needed a little encouragement because she was not having too much luck finding a healthy relationship. I think the advice is good for everyone...
The answer to WHY YOU DESERVE LOVE can only be ANSWERED BY YOU,
IF, and only WHEN YOU can
Will you be set free from the pain and anxiety you hold regarding relationships and life itself.
That's it... Plain and Simple. GO FOR IT!!!
Her main fear was being alone... something that should not be feared.
I sent her the lyrics to the "Mary Tyler Moore Show"