When I was a member of a Catholic Monastery, we ran a retreat center for all of the various "Anonymous" groups. Our facilities could hold up to 65 visitors. Each week, we would have a whole new set of people come to get away from their regular routines to find the support they needed to help them "restore themselves to sanity" (Step 2) and to "turn their will and lives over to the CARE of God" (Step 3). All day/night long, they would have a marathon of meetings where a tremendous amount of Healing took place, through the fellowship of the Anonymous programs.

The "Guardian" of my monastery (the head monk) was an admitted Alcoholic and actively participated in the AA program. As Guardian, it was his role to instruct the younger "monks-in-training" to learn about and progress in the Spiritual Life. Although there are incredibly important "Doctors of the Church" who were experts in Spirituality (my favorites... St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross and St. Thérèse of Lisieux), it was our Guardian's belief, after having been a monk for over 50 years, that the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous was the most powerful, practical approach to growing in the Spiritual Life! Although it was not required of us to learn about and attend meetings, he highly encouraged us to do so. He would say, "If you don't want to do our monk schedule, you can go to the meetings for fun." Well... even though I have never done drugs or have been drunk in my life, I decided to check it out, and I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! The 12 Step can bring about PROFOUND HEALING and either introduce people to Spirituality or Reconnect people to it.

These Steps can be followed by anyone, regardless if they are an addict or not. The first step saying "our lives had become unmanageable" can mean for the non-addict, that their lives had become a jumbled puzzle that was too hard to figure out how they got there and what to do next. To the addict, only they can fully understand how unmanageable it has become. Where the word "Alcohol" or "Alcoholic" is used in ANY/ALL of the Anonymous literature, just replace those words with what you're struggling with... Crystal Meth, Cocaine, Food, Gambling, Marijuana, Narcotics, Nicotine, Sex etc. 

The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

If you are READY to Live a Sober, Peaceful and Loving Life, do yourself a favor and look into the various programs below. Some people participate in more than one program because they have multiple addictions or they may also need Alanon which supports those people in addictive relationships.

12 Step Anonymous Programs​

• AA – Alcoholics Anonymous
• ACA – Adult Children of Alcoholics for those who were raised in alcoholic and other dysfunctional families
• Al-Anon/Alateen, for friends and families of alcoholics, associated with AA
• CA – Cocaine Anonymous
• CLA – Clutterers Anonymous
• CMA – Crystal Meth Anonymous
• Co-Anon, for friends and family of cocaine addicts, associated with Cocaine Anonymous
• CoDA – Co-Dependents Anonymous, for people working to end patterns of dysfunctional relationships and develop functional and healthy relationships
• COSA – a friends and family group associated with Sex Addicts Anonymous
• COSLAA – CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous, for friends and family of people with a sex or love addiction, associated with SLAA
• DA – Debtors Anonymous
• EA – Emotions Anonymous, for recovery from mental and emotional illness
• FA – Families Anonymous, for relatives and friends of addicts
• FA – Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous
• FAA – Food Addicts Anonymous
• GA – Gamblers Anonymous
• Gam-Anon/Gam-A-Teen, for friends and family members of problem gamblers
• HA – Heroin Anonymous
• MA – Marijuana Anonymous
• NA – Narcotics Anonymous
• N/A – Neurotics Anonymous, for recovery from mental and emotional illness
• Nar-Anon, for friends and family members of addicts
• NicA – Nicotine Anonymous
• OA – Overeaters Anonymous
• PA – Pills Anonymous, for recovery from prescription pill addiction.
• RA – Racists Anonymous
• SA – Sexaholics Anonymous
• SAA – Sex Addicts Anonymous
• SCA – Sexual Compulsives Anonymous
• SIA – Survivors of Incest Anonymous
• SLAA – Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
• SRA – Sexual Recovery Anonymous
• UA – Underearners Anonymous
• WA – Workaholics Anonymous

If you need help working the 12 Steps, traditionally you should find a "Sponsor" who is active in the program you need help finding Sobriety in. If you are not ready to attend your first meeting, I'm willing to help you learn about the Steps and guide you in the Steps until you find a Sponsor to help. The "Program" is YOUR program, so you need to work it the way you want to, BUT, as they say in all the meetings, "It ONLY works if you WORK IT!"

Please email me at [email protected] if you want me to help you work the Steps and provide you with Life Coaching and/or Spiritual Direction... My own approaches to help you reconnect to your Spirituality and HEAL the past wounds and traumas that you're still carrying with you. In your email, please share your circumstances and what type of help you need.  Until then... PEACE and LOVE Always - Paul

A lot of people FEAR God because of His "wrath"... because they somehow think he is some old man up in the sky who is watching every move we make and is going to get revenge for all the "naughty" or bad things we've done.

The following message was a lesson I was actually taught in college while studying Theology at the University of San Diego. I would say it is the clearest and perhaps the only thing I consciously remember from my degree studies (meaning... I learned many things, but I can probably only verbalize one thing immediately without having to dig deep into my memory banks.) When working with certain people lately, this message keeps coming to mind and I was told to share it with you today...

"The Punishment of Sin is Inherent to the Sin Itself"

Meaning... Whatever or however you choose to "Sin" it isn't GOD that is punishing you, it is in the action itself that has the consequence is embedded within it. YOU choose the punishment!

I don't really want or need to explain this... Think about it for yourself.

A little bit about Sin... the word means "To Miss the Mark" like an archer pointing towards a target... Sin is when you miss the target. In the Old Testament, the most common message of all the Prophets whose writings we have, is to "SHUV" (in Hebrew) which means to:

"Turn Around And Face God, You're Looking In The WRONG DIRECTION!!!"

When we Sin, We are not facing God who should be our ultimate target... Our Ultimate Goal.

One of my favorite Prophets is Hosea. There is a song that is sung at church which paraphrases the message of Hosea. The book of Hosea is about the Love story between God and His people (us). The song goes like this...

"Come Back to Me, With All Your Heart...
Don't Let FEAR, Keep Us Apart...
Long Have I Waited For Your Coming HOME...
So That We Can LIVE DEEPLY Our NEW LIFE!!!"

(The punctuation is my own and I don't know off-hand who the song was written by, but THANK YOU for such a beautiful rendition of such a beautiful message!)

That is EXACTLY God's invitation... He wants us to come home to Him... to feel His embrace... to Rejoice in LIFE and LIVE the Life that He designed for us.

SIN is our own choosing... SIN is our way of dying... SIN is turning away from GOD!

Today, Right Now... LISTEN for His Invitation... "Come Home, So We Can LIVE DEEPLY In Our NEW LIFE!!!"

SHUV... "Turn Around And Face God, You're Looking In The WRONG DIRECTION!!!"