When I was a member of a Catholic Monastery, we ran a retreat center for all of the various "Anonymous" groups. Our facilities could hold up to 65 visitors. Each week, we would have a whole new set of people come to get away from their regular routines to find the support they needed to help them "restore themselves to sanity" (Step 2) and to "turn their will and lives over to the CARE of God" (Step 3). All day/night long, they would have a marathon of meetings where a tremendous amount of Healing took place, through the fellowship of the Anonymous programs.

The "Guardian" of my monastery (the head monk) was an admitted Alcoholic and actively participated in the AA program. As Guardian, it was his role to instruct the younger "monks-in-training" to learn about and progress in the Spiritual Life. Although there are incredibly important "Doctors of the Church" who were experts in Spirituality (my favorites... St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross and St. Thérèse of Lisieux), it was our Guardian's belief, after having been a monk for over 50 years, that the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous was the most powerful, practical approach to growing in the Spiritual Life! Although it was not required of us to learn about and attend meetings, he highly encouraged us to do so. He would say, "If you don't want to do our monk schedule, you can go to the meetings for fun." Well... even though I have never done drugs or have been drunk in my life, I decided to check it out, and I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! The 12 Step can bring about PROFOUND HEALING and either introduce people to Spirituality or Reconnect people to it.

These Steps can be followed by anyone, regardless if they are an addict or not. The first step saying "our lives had become unmanageable" can mean for the non-addict, that their lives had become a jumbled puzzle that was too hard to figure out how they got there and what to do next. To the addict, only they can fully understand how unmanageable it has become. Where the word "Alcohol" or "Alcoholic" is used in ANY/ALL of the Anonymous literature, just replace those words with what you're struggling with... Crystal Meth, Cocaine, Food, Gambling, Marijuana, Narcotics, Nicotine, Sex etc. 

The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

If you are READY to Live a Sober, Peaceful and Loving Life, do yourself a favor and look into the various programs below. Some people participate in more than one program because they have multiple addictions or they may also need Alanon which supports those people in addictive relationships.

12 Step Anonymous Programs​

• AA – Alcoholics Anonymous
• ACA – Adult Children of Alcoholics for those who were raised in alcoholic and other dysfunctional families
• Al-Anon/Alateen, for friends and families of alcoholics, associated with AA
• CA – Cocaine Anonymous
• CLA – Clutterers Anonymous
• CMA – Crystal Meth Anonymous
• Co-Anon, for friends and family of cocaine addicts, associated with Cocaine Anonymous
• CoDA – Co-Dependents Anonymous, for people working to end patterns of dysfunctional relationships and develop functional and healthy relationships
• COSA – a friends and family group associated with Sex Addicts Anonymous
• COSLAA – CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous, for friends and family of people with a sex or love addiction, associated with SLAA
• DA – Debtors Anonymous
• EA – Emotions Anonymous, for recovery from mental and emotional illness
• FA – Families Anonymous, for relatives and friends of addicts
• FA – Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous
• FAA – Food Addicts Anonymous
• GA – Gamblers Anonymous
• Gam-Anon/Gam-A-Teen, for friends and family members of problem gamblers
• HA – Heroin Anonymous
• MA – Marijuana Anonymous
• NA – Narcotics Anonymous
• N/A – Neurotics Anonymous, for recovery from mental and emotional illness
• Nar-Anon, for friends and family members of addicts
• NicA – Nicotine Anonymous
• OA – Overeaters Anonymous
• PA – Pills Anonymous, for recovery from prescription pill addiction.
• RA – Racists Anonymous
• SA – Sexaholics Anonymous
• SAA – Sex Addicts Anonymous
• SCA – Sexual Compulsives Anonymous
• SIA – Survivors of Incest Anonymous
• SLAA – Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
• SRA – Sexual Recovery Anonymous
• UA – Underearners Anonymous
• WA – Workaholics Anonymous

If you need help working the 12 Steps, traditionally you should find a "Sponsor" who is active in the program you need help finding Sobriety in. If you are not ready to attend your first meeting, I'm willing to help you learn about the Steps and guide you in the Steps until you find a Sponsor to help. The "Program" is YOUR program, so you need to work it the way you want to, BUT, as they say in all the meetings, "It ONLY works if you WORK IT!"

Please email me at [email protected] if you want me to help you work the Steps and provide you with Life Coaching and/or Spiritual Direction... My own approaches to help you reconnect to your Spirituality and HEAL the past wounds and traumas that you're still carrying with you. In your email, please share your circumstances and what type of help you need.  Until then... PEACE and LOVE Always - Paul

OK... What is going on here???!!!

Yesterday afternoon (Friday), I went down to visit my friend "Alex" at the crisis home and he is doing well. THANK YOU to everyone who has sent your well wishes and kind thoughts his way!!! Earlier in the week I visited him, and I shared the story about finding another one of my homeless friends that I was worried about in a neighborhood I have never been in. (See "A Needle in a Haystack" Part 1.)

With all this stuff going on in my life, I have been thinking about how fortunate I am to have my life and all the goodness and blessings I have. I have been thinking a lot about all these homeless friends of mine (hundreds over the years) and how much I truly love them. So many non-homeless people "miss out" because they are afraid of the homeless and bypass potentially WONDERFUL friends with HUGE hearts!!! All they need is to be treated with DIGNITY, RESPECT and LOVE and you will have a friend for life!

One friend in particular, Ryan, was 17 or 18 when I first met him. He was the smartest of all the kids out there on the street and he always made sure everyone else ate before he did. He was sort of a "Guardian Angel" for all his other street friends. Ryan is schizophrenic and what is called a "Tweeker"... a crystal meth addict. He loved music, so I gave him a guitar which he would play night and day to support himself. Over the two years I knew him, he declined rapidly and his paranoia became pretty bad mostly due to his drug addiction. One day he disappeared and it has been 4 years since I have seen him. I have asked the street gang off and on if any of them have heard from him, and I would get news once in awhile about what was going on with him. I guess he went to the police in the town I knew him in (Oceanside) and he "narked" about all of the various drug dealers in the city. He was instrumental in cleaning up a lot of the drug traffic that was going on. BUT, when you are a nark, your life is in danger, so he had to leave. He went to Oregon to his father's place for a little bit, but eventually moved to San Diego which is about 45 minutes from Oceanside.

Ryan will always be one of my favorite street friends because of the good he has done for so many people. It is hard to see because he has such a good heart and is so thoughtful when it comes to OTHER people, but he just can't seem to love HIMSELF enough to get clean. BUMMER! I have thought so much about him all this week after finding my other friend Joey.

So, after my visit with Alex yesterday, I was driving home and decided to go back to the same restaurant I had stopped in earlier in the week where I bumped into Joey. As I'm driving up trying to find a parking place, I look ahead on the corner and THERE WAS RYAN!!! It had been 4 years since I had seen him, but I recognized him IMMEDIATELY!!! I honked my horn and waved to him to come over and I said, "Hey Ryan, it's Tall Paul from Oceanside... Remember me?" He said, "Holy Sh#T!!! PAUL... How's it going... Oh My God... I can't believe it!!!" Well... That made two of us!!! Here I was in this neighborhood that I had only been in once before and here I find ANOTHER NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK!!!

I found a parking spot and we talked for about an hour and a half. He looked really good, but he is still homeless. Still on drugs. Now he is selling drugs. I told him how much I missed him and how I always admired how he took care of everyone out there on the streets and how I always thought that he had so much potential to do good. I told him that I loved him and that my other friends Jessie and Cindy also love and believe in him. I KNOW I was touching him in a long forgotten way... the streets are hard and he needed to hear that there are people still out there that believe in him! I gave him my number and invited him to go with me sometime to my camper that I keep out in the desert. I think he needs to get away and get some fresh air and really think things over about life. He said he is so tired of all the drugs and the way of life and he wants to stop someday soon. He may never stop, but at least I KNOW that HE KNOWS now that I LOVE HIM and BELIEVE IN HIM. I feel good because I WASN'T AFRAID to tell him how I was feeling. He may never be ready to get help, but at least he knows without a doubt that he is LOVED, and that's all that matters. He has someone now to turn to if and when he is ready to get help.

How often do you tell your family and friends just how much you LOVE and BELIEVE in them???!!! We forget how important this is... we all need to hear this so don't be afraid to tell them how you think TODAY!!!

I don't know what it is about that restaurant in that little neighborhood that God and the Angels keep sending me to, but I'm going to keep going back whenever I'm in the neighborhood!!! MIRACLES have happened this week there... The MIRACLE of Joey and the Miracle of Ryan. Both "Tweeker" Drug Addicts. Both homeless. Both have no direction in life. BOTH AMAZING, LOVING, SELFLESS PEOPLE Who I am PROUD to call my FRIENDS!!!

Thank you God for the Gift that these friends are to me!!!