When I was a member of a Catholic Monastery, we ran a retreat center for all of the various "Anonymous" groups. Our facilities could hold up to 65 visitors. Each week, we would have a whole new set of people come to get away from their regular routines to find the support they needed to help them "restore themselves to sanity" (Step 2) and to "turn their will and lives over to the CARE of God" (Step 3). All day/night long, they would have a marathon of meetings where a tremendous amount of Healing took place, through the fellowship of the Anonymous programs.

The "Guardian" of my monastery (the head monk) was an admitted Alcoholic and actively participated in the AA program. As Guardian, it was his role to instruct the younger "monks-in-training" to learn about and progress in the Spiritual Life. Although there are incredibly important "Doctors of the Church" who were experts in Spirituality (my favorites... St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross and St. Thérèse of Lisieux), it was our Guardian's belief, after having been a monk for over 50 years, that the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous was the most powerful, practical approach to growing in the Spiritual Life! Although it was not required of us to learn about and attend meetings, he highly encouraged us to do so. He would say, "If you don't want to do our monk schedule, you can go to the meetings for fun." Well... even though I have never done drugs or have been drunk in my life, I decided to check it out, and I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! The 12 Step can bring about PROFOUND HEALING and either introduce people to Spirituality or Reconnect people to it.

These Steps can be followed by anyone, regardless if they are an addict or not. The first step saying "our lives had become unmanageable" can mean for the non-addict, that their lives had become a jumbled puzzle that was too hard to figure out how they got there and what to do next. To the addict, only they can fully understand how unmanageable it has become. Where the word "Alcohol" or "Alcoholic" is used in ANY/ALL of the Anonymous literature, just replace those words with what you're struggling with... Crystal Meth, Cocaine, Food, Gambling, Marijuana, Narcotics, Nicotine, Sex etc. 

The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

If you are READY to Live a Sober, Peaceful and Loving Life, do yourself a favor and look into the various programs below. Some people participate in more than one program because they have multiple addictions or they may also need Alanon which supports those people in addictive relationships.

12 Step Anonymous Programs​

• AA – Alcoholics Anonymous
• ACA – Adult Children of Alcoholics for those who were raised in alcoholic and other dysfunctional families
• Al-Anon/Alateen, for friends and families of alcoholics, associated with AA
• CA – Cocaine Anonymous
• CLA – Clutterers Anonymous
• CMA – Crystal Meth Anonymous
• Co-Anon, for friends and family of cocaine addicts, associated with Cocaine Anonymous
• CoDA – Co-Dependents Anonymous, for people working to end patterns of dysfunctional relationships and develop functional and healthy relationships
• COSA – a friends and family group associated with Sex Addicts Anonymous
• COSLAA – CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous, for friends and family of people with a sex or love addiction, associated with SLAA
• DA – Debtors Anonymous
• EA – Emotions Anonymous, for recovery from mental and emotional illness
• FA – Families Anonymous, for relatives and friends of addicts
• FA – Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous
• FAA – Food Addicts Anonymous
• GA – Gamblers Anonymous
• Gam-Anon/Gam-A-Teen, for friends and family members of problem gamblers
• HA – Heroin Anonymous
• MA – Marijuana Anonymous
• NA – Narcotics Anonymous
• N/A – Neurotics Anonymous, for recovery from mental and emotional illness
• Nar-Anon, for friends and family members of addicts
• NicA – Nicotine Anonymous
• OA – Overeaters Anonymous
• PA – Pills Anonymous, for recovery from prescription pill addiction.
• RA – Racists Anonymous
• SA – Sexaholics Anonymous
• SAA – Sex Addicts Anonymous
• SCA – Sexual Compulsives Anonymous
• SIA – Survivors of Incest Anonymous
• SLAA – Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
• SRA – Sexual Recovery Anonymous
• UA – Underearners Anonymous
• WA – Workaholics Anonymous

If you need help working the 12 Steps, traditionally you should find a "Sponsor" who is active in the program you need help finding Sobriety in. If you are not ready to attend your first meeting, I'm willing to help you learn about the Steps and guide you in the Steps until you find a Sponsor to help. The "Program" is YOUR program, so you need to work it the way you want to, BUT, as they say in all the meetings, "It ONLY works if you WORK IT!"

Please email me at [email protected] if you want me to help you work the Steps and provide you with Life Coaching and/or Spiritual Direction... My own approaches to help you reconnect to your Spirituality and HEAL the past wounds and traumas that you're still carrying with you. In your email, please share your circumstances and what type of help you need.  Until then... PEACE and LOVE Always - Paul

I received a series of emails today that I thought it might help other people out... The first email simply had one line in it... (the "+++" will indicate the end of the email and the start of the next)...

5/25/09

"CAN YOU HEAL ME?"

+++

Paul's reply...

"As far as healing goes, anything is possible... YOU are the main healer, I'm just there to help you along the journey. What sort of healing do you think you need?"

+++

"BROKEN HEART"

+++

"Ah... what happened???? This is one of the MOST IMPORTANT things that can happen in one's life... don't pass it off lightly. There is much to learn about yourself and your relationship with others when you experience such pain. Allow yourself to feel your feelings and recognize them, not as anger, loss, depression etc. but for what it truly is... LOVE. You see... In LOVE there must be sacrifice. What you are feeling is making you a better Lover, and better person... your capacity for LOVE is GROWING... these are simply Growing Pains that you are having. As you move forward, you will hopefully begin to see with new eyes and carry that LOVE and these new dimensions of self into ALL of your relationships... we will all be better for you having experienced this for us! Don't be afraid, ONLY GOODNESS is coming I assure you!!! : ) "

+++

"I suppose there is still alot that I don't know or understand. And if these really are growing pains, how do I start change how I feel about my feelings"

+++

"Don't judge your feelings... right now you're thinking they are bad. They are are simply tools to help you learn about yourself... they are not bad. With each episode of pain you are being streched, Streched, STRETCHED as a human, to make MORE ROOM for LOVE, HAPPINESS and JOY. Without the pain, you will simply stay at the same capacity you were at. NOW, as you're experiencing the "growing pains" you now have a MUCH LARGER capacity to be filled with LOVE, HAPPINESS and JOY. (Yes... unfortunately, your capacity for pain is larger too, but it just seems more intense because your vessel is bigger and you feel more alone. You are NOT more alone, you are just as alone as before, just have a bigger capacity.)"